joy · you delight in still having a thing · relationships · wife
what you just named
You came in joy, not pain: that you delight in still having a thing, in your relationships — specifically with wife — and you reached for the Stoic voice first. That's what you've named. Listen now to what it answers.
- Stoic
Spirit
mind
The steady knowing of her over years has been the cliff under the marriage. Marcus's image — be like the promontory against which the waves continually break; but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it — describes the man who could be that cliff for her. The savor of not taking her presence for granted is right. The next step is to know that the cliff is not the marriage itself; the cliff is the character that stayed steady through what came at it. Honor the years. Be the cliff again today. The next wave is on its way; the standing firm is not finished.
heart
Be the cliff again today. The years were the standing firm; today is more standing firm.
connection
You stand in the line of all whose long marriages were held by their character through the waves — every husband whose steady presence was the thing the marriage was actually built on.
Action
Today, when something comes at the marriage — small or large — be the cliff. Stand firm. Tame the fury by not adding to it.
Reference
Be like the promontory against which the waves continually break; but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.49
practice
Standing firm today as the cliff under the marriage
principle
The cliff is the character that stayed steady; the marriage was built on that, not on the absence of waves
value
Character as the foundation the years rested on