pain · you regret that you never gained a thing · relationships · God
what you just named
You came in pain, not joy: that you regret that you never gained a thing, in your relationships — specifically with God — and you reached for the Stoic voice first. That's what you've named. Listen now to what it answers.
- Stoic
Spirit
mind
The regret of never having asked whether God was real for you carries an opinion you may not have noticed — that the asking is closed now, that the moment of inquiry has passed, that you have somehow disqualified yourself from the question. Marcus dissolves the structure underneath the complaint. Take away the opinion that the question is closed, and the regret loses its purchase. The asking is open the moment you ask. You did not lose the right to inquire by failing to inquire earlier; you only briefly believed you had. Ask now.
heart
The question is open the moment you ask it. Asking late is still asking.
connection
You stand in the line of all who asked the central question late and in their own voice — Augustine into his thirties, Tolstoy past fifty, every old man who finally put the question to himself plainly.
Action
Today, write the question down in one sentence as you would actually ask it. Sit with the written sentence for five minutes. The asking is the act.
Reference
Take away thy opinion, and then there is taken away the complaint, 'I have been harmed.' Take away the complaint, 'I have been harmed,' and the harm is taken away.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.7
practice
Writing the question and sitting with it
principle
The inquiry is open the moment you open it
value
Asking, even late