joy · you feel you may gain a thing · relationships · God
what you just named
You came in joy, not pain: that you feel you may gain a thing, in your relationships — specifically with God — and you reached for the Stoic voice first. That's what you've named. Listen now to what it answers.
- Stoic
Spirit
mind
The excitement tells you the felt presence is about to arrive and you must not miss it. But the grip on that 'must' is itself the disturbance. Epictetus is precise: do not seek for things to happen as you wish — wish for things to happen as they do happen. The presence you anticipate is not yours to time. Your job is not to summon it on the schedule you have set; your job is to be ready for what is given on the schedule the world keeps. The same agitation that produces fear of loss is producing your excitement now. The cure is the same. Drop the grip on the timing.
heart
If the presence comes today, receive it. If it comes in a year, receive it then. The receiving is the same act; the waiting is not your work.
connection
You stand in the line of all who had to learn that anticipation can imitate fear — every catechumen, every novice, every man on his knees before a candle waiting for the answer. They learned to receive what came, not to summon what they had pictured.
Action
Today, when the excitement rises, name it out loud: 'this is anticipation.' Then return your attention to the next thing that needs doing.
Reference
Do not seek for things to happen as you wish; but wish for things to happen as they do happen, and you will have a tranquil flow of life.
Epictetus, Enchiridion 8
practice
Releasing the grip on the timing of the presence
principle
Anticipation of gain is the same disturbance as fear of loss — both grip a future not yours to time
value
Receiving on the world's schedule, not yours